So many articles out there talk about how you should salvage your relationship. You can go on any relationship website and you’ll find an article with ways you can put the spark back into the relationship. My question? Why don’t we do that from day one?
You meet someone, you fall in love with them and get to know them and their habits, their amazing features and their quirks. You propose and tell them how much you want your entire life with them. This is the person you believe your heart belongs to, so why should you wait until things are going wrong to work on them? Marriage is a lot of work from the moment you are at the church and saying your vows. Work doesn’t always mean difficult, nor does it mean bad. Marriage needs effort from both people to keep things light, fun and alive – even when the struggles hit and the stresses happen.
Your marriage deserves your attention. Your children do, too, when they come along, but your marriage was here first and you wouldn’t have that family without the person you chose to be with. Every day you are married, you should be lighting sparks and keeping the fires burning. Reminding your partner that they’re an amazing parent. Cooking them a meal and picking up the slack around the house when things get overwhelming. There are a million and one ways you can go out of your way to work together to keep your marriage strong. Get the grandparents to take the children away for you for a weekend so you can find the perfect venue for a marriage retreat and have concentrated time together with yourselves and God. Keeping faith in your marriage is important and carving the time out in your busy lives to do so is the only way to make it amazing.
Don’t forget the fun. You fell in love with a person who was fun, intelligent and hard-working. That person is still there, despite the work stress and the family stress and the house that never seems clean no matter what you do. Buy Nerf guns and have a shootout in the house. Play silly games and pranks on one another so you can enjoy the fun you had before you became more than a couple. Do this from day one, and your marriage never need become stale.
You go into marriage with the idea of a life together. Thinking about the end game can make you forget about the time you’re spending together in the right here and now. Saving your marriage shouldn’t wait until it’s already broken. Working on your relationship and your love every day will mean you go into every milestone as a couple, from the honeymoon to your first grandchild, as a united and solid front. Being together should mean that you stick together through thick and thin, in sickness and in health and as long as you both shall live. Those were your vows – make them count.