So what is trust, exactly? For many, trust is the unquestioning belief that your partner is going to do right by you. Does this mean that trust requires you to have an unshakable belief that your partner can do no wrong? It’s definitely a pretty tall order, and places a heavy burden on the both of you. Can anyone be the subject of unquestioning belief? For a lot of people, that’s a pretty difficult concept to swallow.
But of this there can be no doubt. When distrust is at the forefront of someone’s mind that it fundamentally changes the dynamics of a relationship.
How a lack of trust affects a relationship
A lot of people think they know what a lack of trust in a relationship is like. They see it as one partner always being visibly paranoid. Always asking their partner where they’ve been and with who but never seeming to believe them. But sometimes a lack of trust isn’t communicated so explicitly.
A lack of trust can manifest as a lack of intimacy between partners. Physical contact can create unpleasant feelings. It can result in partners not talking, or being evasive about particular subjects. This creates an emotional chasm between the two that can seem difficult to fix.
Dealing with specific suspicions
When we talk of a lack of trust, we’re often talking about fears of infidelity. This isn’t always the case, but it is generally what we’re referring to. But how do we relieve such fears? There’s often only one answer: find out the truth.
Some people may even choose to work with a detective agency if they have these sorts of suspicions about their partner. While that may seem like a big step to a lot of people, it can sometimes be the only way for someone to put their worries to rest.
Coming to terms with the past
If something bad has occurred in a relationship, such as infidelity, then trust can be hard to rebuild. But it’s not impossible. In my opinion, the adage of “Once a cheater, always a cheater” is a dangerous and inaccurate one. Many cynics like to assume that people don’t change. Yet we all have experience, with others and with ourselves, that directly contradicts that claim. Unfortunately, I don’t have much to offer you except another adage: “Time heals”.
But what if mistrust is occurring despite there being no misbehavior from a partner? It could stem from a history preceding the relationship. If someone has dealt with abuse or social rejection in their past, then this can manifest as excessive distrust later in life. This can create lasting problems in all the relationships that person experiences.
In many of these cases, getting outside help can be of tremendous use. Many people don’t believe that relationship counseling/therapy can help them. But you should be prepared to approach this sort of thing with an open mind. There’s a chance it could save your relationship – and if there’s a chance, you should go for it.
Communication is everything. Remember this when you’re dealing with these sorts of problems.